Thor's Day

The thunder that trumpets
the coming of the storm.

Rain down,
baptize me.

With resplendent love.

The sun set into rose petal glory.
The moon shone down upon us,
followed us as we walked into the night.

I would tell you more,
but the sacred one calls me now,
Venus and her violet consort.

But dream of it for me,
and tell me in the morning when you rise.
Tell me of the one who gives you life.

Full of Grace

And full of honesty,
about the strangeness of life.

I have had many wounds.
Now they are healing.
But really that is the truth for all of us.

Are you awake?
Do you know the truth of existence?

It is encoded in your heart,
get quiet and see if you can find it.

Love heals everything, it is the only healer.

I say to the meanness, lurking, unchecked,
Shit, it's in me too.
I keep trying to hide it with quiet sweetness,
but my tiger's fangs are fierce.

And then...And yet,
I am flawed...I am a child of God.

I forgot my dignity yesterday,
slipped, spoke too soon, too much.

Today I am repentant, sorry,
but reaching beyond shame,
for deep breaths, compassion, trust.
Ever and eternal trust.
That I didn't fuck up the whole cosmic map,
rip across the sand mandala
with a drunken, young-girl stumble.

And the universe still marvels,
loves us all the more.

When Darkness Comes

When darkness comes,
stand tall.
Hold your flaming sword,
steady your torch.
Relax and let the wave gush through you.
Pray.
Find God in your heart
and give thanks for what is good.
Look upon the Heavens and ask the stars for guidance.
Gently untie the knots of worry and fear,
so that you may sooth the troubled one
with a joyful dance.

But Our Darkness Is Thick

Deep in the forest,
past plantations and clear cuts and rubber stands,
past fires and tourists and river boats,
there was a hole.

There was a legend
that whoever fell into the hole
would fall into the land of the gods.

When the boy fell in,
chasing a snake through the brush,
people heard his screams.

His mother reached for him,
his father held her back.
People gathered.

The mother held vigil all night,
pleading with the stars.

The next day the clouds were dark.
The mother wept behind a tree.
Her daughters brought her home and fed her.

That night the boy emerged, silently,
crawled and slithered through the vines
and immersed himself in the river.
He lay still in the shallows, waiting.

He came in the morning with a shriek,
caught a chicken and ate it.
People gathered and someone drew a circle around him.
He crouched.
Someone brought fire,
some men held torches,
surrounding, closing in.

The boy cowered, looking for escape.
He saw her,
tear stained and wary from sleepless nights.
He howled and she rushed forward,
threw him on her back, ran.

He ate her alive.
Days later, far into the jungle.
He returned and they caged him,
brought him to a cliff and let the panthers eat him.
His father took his daughters and went away.

I know it is sad.
Be brave.
The light will illuminate
but our darkness is thick.

Look Into My Eyes

I look into your soul
and see the light eternal.
A flower ever blooming,
clouds parting for the sun.

Tell me of your dreams,
the ones that whisper truth,
of angels dancing on hilltops,
who bring life and lust and glory.

I tell you new life will come
when the flames have died away,
when the lion devours the snake,
when the wounds have all scabbed over.

Of wounds we could talk for hours,
sirens in the night,
fires that end in anguish,
babes born unto the plague.

But look into my eyes,
look now and forget it all,
lull the angry one to sleep
to dream of summer and warm milk.

Look into my eyes,
for here you will find hope,
hope for us to remember
that which gives us life.

There is one who brings salvation,
whose name I will not tell you.
But look into your heart,
and holding firm, walk forward.

I Will Tell You This Dream Is Full of Light

A very long time ago,
on the side of a mountain,
there lived a man.
He walked amidst flowers,
eagles soared above.

One day he found a girl lying beside a rock.
She was nearly dead of a snake bite.
Just leave me! she hissed.
He carried her home.

He made a fire.
The girl slept.
She dreamed of horses thundering through valleys,
lions jumping down cliffs,
a five-headed snake and a warrior who would save her.

She awoke.
The man painted.
She awoke.
The man stoked the fire.
She awoke.
The man made tea.

What is this dream?

She drank his potion, let him feed her boiled roots.
She missed her family, yet she stayed.
She regained her strength.
They went for walks to the river.
He smiled but never laughed.
His eyes were blue and shone with light,
and when he looked upon her, she looked down.

What is this wild dream?

Her family came looking for her.
She awoke from afternoon sleep and heard them.
She wanted to run but he held her hand, softly.
She wept.

It is beautiful, in the heartbreak there is beauty.

She walked down the mountain, collapsed into her father's arms.
Her hair was braided and adorned with feathers.
They saw she no longer belonged to them.

They made camp.
Her sister found berries.
At dawn he came, cloaked in bearskin.
Her heart leaped,
but she returned with her family to her homeland.

Some nights she would dream of him,
they would be birds flying in the night sky,
bear cubs swatting at butterflies.

She grew older, collected water with the women,
watched her friends get married and bear children.
She climbed to the ridge at night and spoke with the stars.
You will never see him again, they said.

She married the son of a hunter.
She learned to tame horses
and tore across the land on their backs,
always returning.

I will tell you that this dream is not easy,
I will tell you that it is full of light.

When she died she was an old woman,
and when the stars came down to escort her,
they descended robed in vines and flowers.

I cannot take you with me, she said to her loved ones.
But do not forget me, for I will make a home in your hearts.
She left and the earth shimmered,
the angels sang and the horses shook their manes.

But please don't think too much about it.
Please stay quiet and remember the cave,
the eyes that would slice through fire.
Please dream without ceasing.

Dear God

Dear God,
Teach me to be true
Teach me to be true
Teach me to be true

Flow through me like the river that slices through the valley
we saw on our drive east to the hot springs

We lay in the sun.
I closed my eyes and saw a mountain,
from its peak fell a golden ring.

God, please marry me.
Marry me for eternity.

I am moving to the mountains to be with you.
I heard your call, your voice that traveled through the wormhole.

I want others to know you,
It hurts when we forget.
Some days, my whole being sings your name.

Venus

I felt you, Venus,
shining upon us,
reigning over swallows swooping
in the gorge of nighttime feeding.

We watched from the bridge below,
walking home over the slate gray river,
skipping from stone to stone in the day's last light.

The next day we lay like sea lions on rocks.
Strangers ran by,
the woman riding piggyback on the man.

Beside us the river gushes.
We jump in.
Do you know? I don't want to impress you.
I want to be a channel,
and when I'm not a channel,
I just want to share about this human dream.

This Dream

A young boy said:
This feather is for you but don't take it home.
He couldn't remember my name but I think he knew me.
When he smiled, I could see myself and my heart cracked.

A song, it goes,
Tell me one more time
why you went away...
And another one:
I want to tell you
how much
I love you...

A dad who died when I was 19
and in my dreams I search,
beating on doors,
weeping when I find him.
Please never leave!

One time I sat in the sun and closed my eyes.
Down the cliff below, ocean waves lapped on the shore.
I closed my eyes and Christ came. He was big,
and his heart opened in a thousand rays of light.
I walked in. He held me.

I'd like to never walk out,
but I do sometimes.
When I forget who I am,
when darkness overwhelms me,
when I don't feel strong or brave or kind.

Somehow, it's about the marriage between heaven and earth,
the divine and the human.
It all returns to love,
it all returns to love.
I am remembering.